If you’re a regular reader of our blog or one of our customers, you’ll know that one of our favourite things about chastity cages is that they shift the pleasure focus away from the wearer’s penis. Whilst certain cages can allow for some…swelling, shall we say, a properly fitted cage restricts the wearer from getting hard, masturbating, or engaging in PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse.
“But Mistress K,” I hear you cry. “How can sex still be pleasurable without focusing on my penis?”
Enter pegging. (pun intended)
What is pegging
One of the most erogenous zones for those with penises can be the anus and the prostate. And those are the zones we’re targeting with pegging. So our definition here of pegging is when one person penetrates another person anally using a strap-on dildo.
A lot of folks think that the only way you can experience pleasure is through touching your genitalia, but my sweet summer children, how wrong that belief is! The human body is a fairground of erogenous zones and delightful places to tickle and tease and touch - so even if you’re caged, you can experience overwhelming pleasure.
Why is it called pegging?
Here comes the science history…
Pegging as a term was coined in 2001 by Dan Savage, an American author and LGBTQ+ activist. At the time, he was writing a weekly sex advice column called Savage Love. Through writing these columns, he noticed that there wasn’t a specific term for strap-on anal sex and so he encouraged his readers to write in their suggestions for the name. Following a final poll, the winning term was, you guessed it, pegging.
It’s worth noting for transparency that when Dan Savage was trying to find a name for this act, it referred to something that a cis woman does to a cis man. However, we’ve come a long way since then and the definitions have broadened. Pegging is a general term for strap-on anal sex as we’ve mentioned above and the genders of the involved parties aren’t as important. What is important is safe, enjoyable sex.
How does pegging feel?
Where do we even begin! Let’s break it down into the two key players in this wonderful act - our giver and our receiver, or catcher and pitcher if you prefer more of a sports analogy.
How it feels for the giver
Speaking to you heart to heart as Mistress K, as the giver it feels incredible. The sense of power is amazing. It feels like one of the most Domme-y things I can do, and I also feel almost giddy from trust when pegging slave D. I get a lot of pleasure from giving him pleasure. Everyone’s a winner, baby, that’s no lie (thank you Hot Chocolate).
There are plenty of other feelings one can have whilst giving, too. Many tops just enjoy the psychological thrill, but for those who want to be physically sexually stimulated, bullet vibes or dual-ended strap-ons can also be incorporated.
How it feels for the receiver
For the receiver (or the peggee), pegging can feel like a very vulnerable act, especially when they’re not used to getting penetrated. Many receivers experience feelings of shame or humiliation, especially if they’ve associated the act of being penetrated (especially as a man) as a taboo act, or something to be embarrassed or ashamed of.
And yet, from those who love being pegged, you will often hear about the mental and physical effect of it. Giving trust and power over to your pegging partner, exploring your body and also the power of the anal orgasm is pretty exceptional, so I’ve been told.
The intensity of anal orgasms from pegging
Another reason many people enjoy pegging is because anal orgasms can feel especially intense, particularly for men and folks assigned male at birth. This miracle is all thanks to the prostate. The prostate gland, often referred to as the ‘male G spot’ or the ‘P spot’ is a gland that’s part of the reproductive system and is located below the bladder and in front of the rectum.
Whilst a lot of people might only know about the prostate from medical checks, the walnut-sized gland is also filled with nerve endings which means stimulation city, whether by well-lubed fingers, prostate massaging toys or with a strap-on during pegging play.
Some men (our own wonderful slave D included) have claimed that their prostate orgasms are ten times stronger than the orgasms they receive just from masturbation. We’re still trying to figure out what apparatus we could buy to measure this. For science, obviously. (Pop any suggestions you have in a message and let us know!)
Why we enjoy it
The answer to the question “why do you enjoy pegging” is both simple and also impossibly complex. On the one hand, I frankly find it super hot. But the more complicated answer is that the sense of power that pegging has given me has actually been transformative.
As a woman, I grew up exposed to so many heteronormative messages about my role in the bedroom (the Madonna/Whore complex in full effect!). I was told to be sultry but not too slutty, be a ‘good girl’ and that my place was just to ‘take it.’ These ideas lead to so many complications in the bedrooms of many people such as shame, sexual dissatisfaction, orgasm inequality, and the public shaming of women (but rarely men, strange that…).
It feels baffling to me that Gillian Anderson’s “Want” is being called groundbreaking simply because it captures the sexual fantasies of women and not men. Women have fantasies too, stop the presses!
So now, as a dominant queer woman in a straight-appearing relationship, being in control in the bedroom and not being the ‘receiving’ party feels like so many wonderful things: agency, power, reclamation, and control. And with a partner who I trust, and who trusts me in return, it also feels intimate, rewarding, and supremely validating. (Whoops. Can I still say that it’s intimate if we’re blogging about it to the whole internet? Answers on a postcard.)
Slave D speaks!
D: The intense orgasms I experience when I’m caged and pegged have already been mentioned. Yes, you can still orgasm even if you’re caged. Trust me, it’s something you absolutely have to try.
The power dynamic that’s created when Mistress K wears her cock adds to our play sessions in a number of ways:
- It enhances the tease and denial aspect of our play - She knows how cock hungry I can get when I see her pull her harness out of our toy drawer, buckle it around her waist then choose from the wide selection of compatible dildos we’ve collected throughout our time together. I’m not great at hiding my emotions, so when she sees how I react to this I know I’m in for an intense night. Patience isn’t generally my strongest asset; she uses that against me in the most delicious and devious ways to get me begging for a release.
- How confident and powerful it makes her look and feel - The moment Mistress K straps on her harness and wiggles her dildo she immediately exudes dominance. And I LIVE for that. That’s not to say that she doesn’t without it, far from it, but this takes it to another level.
- Sometimes I just want a hard fucking - You read that right, on occasion (many actually) it’s nice to just be put in your place by being bent over and having your ass fucked. Wearing a chest harness or a collar with attached leash that she can tug on makes it even more fun. And on that note…
- It can be really silly and fun - D/s doesn’t always need to be super serious and bossy. It can also be a time where her tits jiggle while she pounds into me from above and we laugh together at how funny that can look. Boobs are fun, penises can be silly and collectively that gives us something to giggle about.
Pegging & chastity: it hits different!
Now, the House of Denial special interest section! While pegging often occurs in a way where the receiver’s penis could also be stimulated during the act, adding a chastity cage into the mix offers a fun twist on the experience. With their penis caged and inaccessible, a pegging receiver has the opportunity to completely surrender their sexual experience and focus on the act of receiving anally.
And even the experience of being caged whilst being pegged will vary from person to person. There’s no common experience, which hopefully takes some pressure off. Some people I know remain flaccid in their cage, while others have a feeling of pressure building up when they try to get erect. Make sure that you wear a device that’s comfortable and correctly sized, otherwise you’ll feel unwanted discomfort that will ruin the experience for you (and not the type of ruined orgasms we might normally advocate!).
Something Slave D and I can highly advocate is the inclusion of a vibrator into the pegging play, by placing it against the chastity cage. People can be used to manually getting themselves off with their hands, so the double-whammy of not being able to directly touch yourself plus the building vibrations can make for a unique experience.
Another unique pegging delight is further delving into the denial aspect of the pegging. Whilst the caged person is going to be pegged, you can also add a second strap-on just above their cage, or on their thigh, and take your pleasure from that if you’re into being penetrated. The visual of the pegger riding a dildo but the peggee not getting the physical sensations of the penetration - a teasing delight!
What other glorious experiences might await you if you combine chastity and pegging? There’s only one way to find out!
Next section: Myths & mistakes to avoid
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mistress K
Mistress K (she/her) is a queer kinky woman and in a long-term chastity-led relationship with Slave D, the other half of the dynamic duo who run House of Denial.
Thoughtfully dedicated to consent-led BDSM practices and interactions, Mistress K supports our community via our customer service channels (does that make her a service top domme?) by engaging with anyone interested, enthusiastic or curious about chastity.
Leave a comment